quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
pop tarts are not kleenex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
