I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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