you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize