i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
