I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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