Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
