OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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