I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
