it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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