I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
