Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
