It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
