I wish I could punch you in the face.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
