haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize