Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
