Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Come on in and take your pants off
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