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  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

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• Then the real dad finds out and beats the shit out of you.

  Submitted by ck24 on Jan 9, 13 at 12:34pm

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• The woman you meet and have kids with will likely be someone else's ex, and that dude will think the same thing about your kids. No big deal.

  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jan 9, 13 at 2:18pm

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• The protection order says you're supposed to stay 500 feet away.

  Submitted by Malarkey on Jan 9, 13 at 1:40pm

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