I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
