Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
