So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize