i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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