she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
