She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
