My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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