I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize