Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
