please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
