Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
