and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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