If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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