it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
