windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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