I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize