Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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