Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
