Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My feet surprised me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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