im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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