I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
His nipple licking is glorious
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