we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
