I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
