Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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