i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i now understand why vodka
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
