i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
