Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
