All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is her dick bigger than yours?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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