Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
