I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
