i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
