who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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