so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
