thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize