I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
