Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
