Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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