he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
