She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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