Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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