I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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