I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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