Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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