To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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