Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
