3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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