yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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