Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I puked a lego.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
