You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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