We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
