the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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