it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
